Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Some Common Questions: How it Works

As mentioned a few posts ago, we get asked a lot of the same questions as we share our news.   Here is some more info for those of you who are interested in learning more about our story!  

Why did you choose domestic adoption through an agency? 
When it comes to adoption, there are lots of options.  With options come a lot of decisions!  Domestic or international?  Agency or attorney or through the foster care system?  Newborn or older child?  Open or closed?  

With us, the decisions were all made very easily, believe it or not.  The Lord was truly orchestrating every step by putting Clay and I on the same page from the beginning. We met with some friends of ours who have not only adopted internationally but also have worked in domestic adoption for years.  This couple brought us a lot of invaluable information.  As we learned from them and then began to research on our own, we knew the Lord was leading us to adopt a newborn domestically through an agency.  (There was a lot more to this but for time and space's sake I'll leave it at that.  If you want to know more, please just shoot me an email!)  

We chose this route because of the ministry to the birthmother that occurs during and after the pregnancy.  She is cared for on every level - physically, emotionally and spiritually.  As we talked and prayed, we realized that adoption was not just about Clay and I getting something but also a way for us to be a part of God's working in this woman's life.  It is more costly than some other routes, but for us we really felt that God was leading us to partaking in this ministry to the birthmother.  

Are you going to know the birthmother?  
That is a good question, but one that really will depend on our particular circumstances.  There are all kinds of different adoptions - open, closed, semi-open, etc.  We are saying at this time that we are open to whatever situation God brings to us.  There is a lot I could say about this issue - it does open up a lot of questions and concerns in some people but after a lot of prayer and discussion, we feel that we are not going to limit what God might want to do in our life through this kind of situation.

So, the short answer to the question is - we may know her and we may not.  :)  There is a lot that is unknown at this point.

How long will this process take?  
Oh, how I would love to know the answer to this one! :)  With adoption, there is no normal situation.  There is no average because each and every circumstance is different.  It could be next week, but it could be a year from now.  For a control freak like myself, this is whole new territory for me to be living in!

Because our agency is small, there is a very good chance that this could go quicker than some adoptions.  We are hoping for a child within the year, but we know that God's timing is different than ours sometimes.

How does the process work?
I'm throwing this one in even though I didn't include it in our original list of questions.   I will try to briefly give an overview.  The way our agency works is through a matching system.  Clay and I have submitted a profile (a book with lots of pictures telling about us), and the birthmother is shown profiles of waiting families that might be a good fit for her situation.  She will then choose us from the selection of profiles she is shown and then we just wait for the baby to come!

Depending on the circumstances, there is a chance that Clay and I will get to be at the hospital when the baby is born!  I will write and explain more about this as the time comes, but each circumstance is different depending on the case.  The birthmother does have a right to choose to keep the child once the baby is born.  In our state, she has 10 days to make this decision.  However, our state does have a law allowing the birthmother to waive 5 of these days if she so chooses.  We have heard a lot of birthmothers are waiving these 5 days knocking the wait time down to only 5 days.

Once the time period has passed and the adoption will go forward, we will then wait for a court date when the judge will officially declare the child ours!!

I'll answer the rest of the questions in another post - I don't want this one to get too long!  :)  Please continue to pray for us in our journey.  We are we are wading through the home study process (don't worry I'll write some more about that), trusting the Lord with our finances and praying for the precious one who will be carrying our child!

Waiting Joyfully,
Stacy and Clay

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