My heart is full as I sit down to write this post. I would have never guessed that God would teach me so much about Himself, His provision, His people, and His heart for the least of these through our adoption journey. His faithfulness to us has literally brought me to my knees in praise and has comforted me when I've cried out for strength. What a privilege I count it that God would have us walk this path; how very thankful I am that He allowed me to experience His heart in this way.
Throughout my life I have seen God relentlessly and patiently teach me lessons of His grace. I know that following Him is worth it; He has proven that to me time and again. I have walked intimately beside Him in mountaintop moments, and I have been unknowingly carried by Him in the valley. No matter where I find myself in life, no matter how incredible or bleak my circumstances may seem - His grace is always there. It is never changing, always present and a beautiful picture of God's heart.
When Clay and I began to talk of starting a family, my heart soared with dreams of becoming a mother. Beside becoming a wife, there was nothing else I had dreamt more about. Unlike some couples who begin the journey to starting a family with lofty expectations, we knew it would be an uphill battle. But even there in the midst of what is so hard to understand, God's grace was poured out on my mind, my heart, my understanding. He has given me faith to trust in His sovereign will. He chooses when to open and close the womb, and I trust in that with all that I am.
Then this adoption thing came into the picture. I've always had a sensitive spirit to adoption; it has always intrigued me and I've thought it would be a part of my life for a while. But I would have never guessed how God might use it to teach me more of Himself. God has taught me that He is sovereign - He puts the pieces of our lives together to make a beautiful story that can reflect His grace. When making our profile book for birthmothers to view, the pressure was gone because it is God who puts the families together and not how good I can make myself look. When worry and fear wanted to creep in as the months of waiting dragged on, His sovereignty was a comfort and the very thing that sustained me through those days. When we walked through the disrupt in June, His grace and provision were sure - they never wavered. His grace has literally sustained me. For the first time in my life, I have learned that God's sovereignty is not just a fact but a comfort in all things.
God has taught me of the importance and design behind the body of Christ. While it's a catchy slogan on a silly t-shirt we made, the phrase "It Takes a Village" could not be more true. God has used so many of you to teach me of His provision for us. We have been overwhelmed by the amount of financial support we have been shown, but also just by the fact that this child is loved and prayed for already by so many. Thank you, very much, for walking this road with us so well.
I have seen anew that God is intimately involved in our daily lives. He is not just our saving grace, but our daily grace as well. I cannot even begin to tell you all the ways that He has shown how intimately involved He is in our lives every moment of every day. Whether it was a phone call or a text sent at just the right time, or the exact amount of money needed in that moment or Scripture coming to mind just as I begin to lose hope - His intimate attention in all things has been evident.
Most importantly, adoption has given me a new understanding of redemption. It's what God is all about. It is why we gather together as a church body to celebrate, and it is why we go out from the walls of the church with a message to declare to the world. Redemption - a rescue - is the essence of the gospel. What a privilege God has given to Clay and I to be a part of His rescue through the story of our adoption. To take this precious baby boy that is coming our way in the next few weeks, and to rescue him, give him unconditional love and call him our own is such a privilege that I cannot comprehend. It is overwhelming beautiful, and absolutely a gorgeous picture of God's same rescue of us. I only pray that one day this baby boy will look deep into the story of his own life to see that it is a mere reflection of the redemption and rescue that God intended for him from the beginning of time. That he might come to know, understand, love and be overwhelmed by this same grace that is humbling me now. That he might see that Jesus is THE rescuer of our souls.
And then I think of his birthmother. This precious incredible woman that God has given us the grace to meet and come to love. And again, the picture that adoption paints of redemption comes sweeping into my heart over her. I long for her to know and understand this same grace of God that has come into my life. I want her to know that God's heart is for a rescue and redemption to occur in all circumstances, and I am asking that God might use the birth of this baby to teach her of His great love for her. Would you join me in praying these things?
Clay and I are so humbled that God might allow us to be given this opportunity to know Him more and to make His name known. We are praising Him in every part of this journey and excited to see what lies ahead!
Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.
Psalm 130:7-8
